Healing Grief With Transitional Objects
Losing a loved one is one of life's most challenging experiences. It can leave us feeling profoundly empty, like a part of ourselves is gone. When facing the loss of a loved one, it is crucial to acknowledge our grief and give ourselves time to find a way to go on living. While grieving is a universal experience, the path to healing and acceptance is unique, and what aids one person might not help another.
In the face of grief, which can often feel lonely and overwhelming, transitional objects can provide comfort and a connection to our departed loved ones. Although first associated with the emotional turmoil children face when gaining independence from their caregivers, these transitional items can also be powerful tools for managing grief, anxiety, and other challenging life changes at any age.
In order to better understand how transitional objects can help us navigate the death of a loved one, we’ll explore how people have used different types of objects to cope with their grief so you can see what resonates most with you. These may include sentimental items like memory boxes, keepsakes, and memorial jewelry, or even creative expressions such as music or art.
What Are Transitional Objects?
Transitional objects are personal items that provide a sense of security, emotional comfort, and a symbolic connection with important people in one's life.
Donald Winnicott's theory of transitional objects states that a transitional object can both represent and aid a child's transition as they gradually separate from their caregiver. The object becomes a cherished possession, symbolizing the mother-child connection and offering comfort during these increasingly extended periods of separation, anxiety, and emotional confusion. I’m sure many readers can remember a special blanket or stuffed animal that offered them security and solace when they were young.
These items are part of the child’s emotional support system during their early years, helping them feel at ease and secure.
For those experiencing the anxiety, pain, and emotional turmoil of loss, transitional objects serve a similar purpose. They give us something familiar and constant to hold onto when we feel lost in the chaos of life. In our grief, these physical objects can remind us of the safety and comfort we felt when we were around our loved one who has since passed. They give us a way to physically carry our loved one’s essence, memory, and legacy forward with us.
People of all ages and from different backgrounds can benefit from transitional objects in moments of grief. For parents going through devastating perinatal loss, it might be their child’s favorite blanket; for a spouse who has lost her husband, it could be a familiar flannel shirt. Just like children growing up, these objects help us cope with the complexity and confusion of our separation from love by providing moments of reflection, comfort, and certainty.
How Do Transitional Objects Help You Manage Grief?
Even when grief is no longer fresh, it can still affect our daily lives, lurking in the shadows and sometimes overtaking us without warning. As you never know how you will wake up feeling each day when you’re grieving the loss of a family member or friend, it can be challenging to stay grounded and keep pressing onward.
Although there is no right or wrong way to experience grief, being mindful of how we deal with our feelings and giving ourselves space to mourn is critical to maintaining self-care during this process.
For some, the concept of a transitional object may seem silly. For others, it could be the lifeline that helps them draw on their own strength and resilience. As we’ve said, there are many ways to cope with grief, and what works for one person may not work for another. But for those who find comfort in these objects, they are a source of healing, relief, and growth. These items create a lasting connection to your loved one and may provide the comfort and stability you need as you learn how to face this new reality, move forward, and find peace.
5 Transitional Object Ideas to Deal with the Grieving Process
Have you ever felt that certain objects bring you an unexplainable sense of comfort? In the same way that your heavy blanket is the one thing you can count on to give you a good night's sleep, people can count on transitional objects to help cope with both the psychological and physical symptoms of grief. But, just as heavy blankets aren’t the only answer to a restless night, there are plenty of different options for transitional items as well, depending on your preferences and your situation. Here are some common ones:
1. Sensory Objects
Our senses hold immense power when it comes to remembering loved ones. Smell, touch, taste, sight, and hearing all connect directly to the hippocampus, the brain's memory center. These sensory details can be incredibly vivid and evoke memories more potently than visual cues alone.
Perhaps smelling your soulmate’s favorite lavender perfume instantly transports you to a cherished time—maybe your first date dinner or their scent lingering every morning before leaving the house. These small details can help you feel closer to them.
2. Memory Boxes
As you might know, our connections with our loved ones don’t end with their death. When someone has a profound effect on your life, you can continue feeling connected to them without needing to be in their physical presence. Memory boxes are a great way to collect some of the most powerful symbols of that lasting connection during times of grief.
The nice thing about a memory box is it can be what you want (or need) it to be. You’re free to control the narrative inside them; it’s your space to heal. You choose the items, you hold the memories, and you revisit them on your own terms. If you’re going through the loss of a friend, fill the box with photos from your time together, those daily handwritten notes you exchanged in class, or that silly t-shirt you bought on the last trip you took. No matter what you choose to include, these mementos become a source of comfort and a way to feel close again.
3. Elements of Nature
Nature's elements are potent symbols of enduring life and connection. Their inherent cycles, with seasons changing and life constantly reborn, offer a powerful symbol of endurance.
Visiting a natural space where your loved one felt joy and peace can become a source of comfort and a way to feel close to them. Going further, look for something unique in that place and take it with you. Holding onto a seashell from a cherished beach or a rock from a favorite hiking trail can become tangible reminders of the time spent together. These items will now be in your home, allowing you to connect with them daily.
5. Heirloom Jewelry
Keeping your loved ones' favorite jewelry as an heirloom is a personal way to maintain your enduring connection to them. Whether it’s your father’s vintage watch, your grandmother’s family ring, or your mother’s favorite necklace, you can wear these special items and feel close to their previous owners.
As the familiar world you once shared gradually separates, having this object by your side can help you navigate this difficult transition more smoothly. Wearing these special pieces of jewelry can help spark reflection and stir up fond remembrances throughout our days, keeping the memories of our loved ones fresh and alive.
Memorial Diamonds as Transitional Objects
Just like heirloom jewelry can connect us with the past, transforming a loved one's ashes into a memorial diamond offers a unique way to keep them close. These personalized gems are the perfect transitional objects and forever keepsakes, providing comfort and connection during grieving.
Diamonds are enduring symbols of love and strength. Growing a diamond from your loved one's ashes creates a one-of-a-kind piece that reflects their profound impact on your life. Memorial diamonds can be crafted into rings, bracelets, necklaces, or any other jewelry style, allowing for a deeply personal tribute you can wear close to your heart. Various shapes, sizes, and colors allow for further personalization, creating a lasting keepsake you can carry. You can even have the memorial diamond set in an existing piece of heirloom jewelry you’re connected to.
Loss can be devastating, and grief is difficult. But there is help. Transitional objects aren’t for everyone, but they can help some cope with the turmoil of bereavement and offer some solace during rough times. If you want to find out more, about how to create a calming, beautiful piece of memorial jewelry to honor your loved one, contact Eterneva today and learn about the process.